Verus Leadership: 2014

"Showing up is 80% of life." - Woody Allen

Sometimes just showing up is hard. Very hard. Especially for those battling depression. There is a history of depression in my family so I know first-hand how difficult this disease can be to deal with.

Recently one of my kids was struggling with wanting to go to school. Part of my communication to him was that just showing up, participating in class and talking with friends will help make him feel better. The alternative - just sitting at home playing video games or watching movies - would only make things worse. Grudgingly, he went to school.

I also let him know that sometimes, all of us, have to do things we'd really rather not do at that particular point in time. Like go to work; go to practice; see your in-laws (not mine; my in-laws are great) do your chores, etc. The point is sometimes we do have to force ourselves to "show up" and just get it done. Life isn't always fun. Nor do I think it should be. There is purpose in our struggles.

Now don't get me wrong. I don't just show up for the sake of showing up. I know people that do and I wonder (1) how do they have the time and (2) why are they neglecting their kids and spouse? I've become very picky with activities I participate in and with whom I spend my time. Life is too short to waste on mediocre people and activities.

I want to make a difference in other people's lives and sometimes making that difference requires work and activities that aren't always fun. I usually found that just showing up and participating, or at least "going through the motions," makes me feel better and more motivated. Not always - but in most instances. (NOTE: For people battling depression, particularly severe cases, this doesn't necessarily make sense. Seeking help from a mental health expert is always a good option.)

My father left our family when I was 12. It devastated me, my brother and my mother. I went into a 6-month long, deep depression.

Eventually, I came through the other side and part of what helped me make that transition was deciding it was time for me to start showing up the way my dad couldn't - for my mom, my brother and for myself. My inner voice was saying: "There is enough pain and suffering in the world. I will not add to it. How can I make the world better right here, right now?" Making things better for others, even a little, is something I try to do every day.